You Don’t Need to ‘Earn’ Your Thanksgiving Meal: This and 10 More Myths about Holiday Eating Debunked
The stomach flu has been making its rounds lately, as it often does this time of year. It seems like almost everyone I know has either had it or knows someone who has. Just the other day, I was talking with someone who mentioned that their entire family had been hit by the stomach flu over the course of a week. I shared that it had swept through my family as well, and they replied, “Well, it’s honestly not bad timing. Now we don’t have to feel guilty for eating whatever we want on Thanksgiving!”
That comment struck me. The implication was clear: the weight lost from being sick was seen as a kind of "permission" to “indulge” during the holiday. This was my exact train of thought for a long time, too—a sobering reminder of how much internal struggle can exist around food, eating, and the holidays, even for those who don’t have an eating disorder.
This made me think of all of the other comments and messages I had seen or heard about food and the holidays over the last few weeks, and I compiled a list of reminders in response to some of the most common ones. These reminders help us debunk commonly circulated myths about how to engage with food and eating on Thanksgiving as we head to our gatherings this year. They apply to those who have struggled with an eating disorder as well as anyone who is just on the receiving end of diet culture’s narratives loud and clear these days.
11 Reminders to Debunk Thanksgiving Food Myths
You do not need to earn your Thanksgiving meal(s)
Here’s the deal: you don’t need to “save up” calories, skip meals, work out extra, or squeeze in extra steps to “deserve” your Thanksgiving meal. These narratives are rooted in diet culture and the fear-mongering it perpetuates around food and bodies. Food is a basic human need – for physical, emotional, and social, and cultural connection – and you inherently deserve it on Thanksgiving and every other day of the year.
Restricting in the days leading up to Thanksgiving is not a flex
Many conversations leading up to Thanksgiving center around plans for that day and all the days around it: Gathering plans, travel plans, food prep, favorite foods, etc. If, in these conversations, someone has mentioned how they’re trying to “be good” in the days leading up to Thanksgiving as they decline a donut, or if you have felt the urge to skip a meal to *allow* for Thanksgiving foods, please remember that a) this is not something to brag about and b) you don’t have to participate.
Eating on Thanksgiving won’t make you gain a substantial amount of weight
This is not to say that gaining weight is bad . . . at all. This is just to point out that research suggests that you will not gain a substantial or noticeable amount of weight, if any at all, from one day of eating a bit more or differently than you normally would. There tends to be much hysteria around holiday weight gain, and the reality of holiday eating and weight gain just does not live up to the hype, not to mention the internalized diet culture perpetuated fatphobia that underscores this fear in the first place.
It’s okay to feel full
If you have listened to any amount of diet culture chatter lately, you probably have heard or gathered that fullness = failure on Thanksgiving. Fullness is viewed as a problem to be solved, a hurdle to jump over, something to avoid or rectify. I bought into this for so long. In reality, fullness is a sign that your body is satisfied and nourished - something we can appreciate and celebrate instead of vilify.
You are not “so bad” for eating a lot on Thanksgiving
There’s no moral value in how much or how little you eat. Enjoying an abundant meal (plus seconds or thirds), grazing throughout the entire day, or eating your favorite desserts on Thanksgiving doesn’t make you “bad,” just as eating less doesn’t make you “good.” Food is not a measure of your character or morals—it’s a way to celebrate and connect.
Food does not have to be your focus
While Thanksgiving is a food-centric holiday, this does not have to be your focus if this part of the holiday is giving you anxiety. Thanksgiving can be about so much more than food – creating traditions, connecting and reconnecting with family and friends, and enjoying downtime. If food is an overwhelming or challenging focus for you, consider focusing more elsewhere this year.
This, too, shall pass
If Thanksgiving feels overwhelming, it may be comforting to remember that – like every other day – it will pass. Whether it’s anxiety about food, uncomfortable conversations, or guilt or shame about food choices, the intensity of these feelings won’t last forever. If you’re feeling this today, try to be gentle with yourself and trust that you can move through this moment with resilience.
Your gluten-free, dairy-free, refined sugar-free, dye-free friend or family member is not better or healthier than you
Food choices are personal, and someone else’s dietary preferences or restrictions aren’t an indication of their level of health (or yours). If you have a family member or friend who is vocal about their food stipulations, it may be helpful to separate yourself from conversations if this comes up. You’re allowed to eat (and enjoy) traditional holiday dishes without modifications, comparison, or judgment.
Your body is smart
Your body knows what to do with the food that you eat. It has experience digesting many different types and amounts of food, and Thanksgiving day is no different. Save for allergies and intolerances, trusting that your body is processing the food you eat effectively can help make the day less stressful and more enjoyable.
You don’t have to eat anything you don’t want to eat
In the same vein as you being able to eat anything you would like to eat, you can also refuse any food you would like to refuse You do not HAVE to eat anything you do not want to eat on Thanksgiving or any other day.
You do not need to “recover from” Thanksgiving
There’s a narrative promoted by diet culture that Thanksgiving and holidays, in general, are potential “setbacks,” something to brace yourself for and recover from– a sad spin on what should and could be a time to unwind and celebrate. Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate, not a setback. Your body doesn’t need punishment or “fixing” after enjoying a holiday meal. One day of eating what you love isn’t something to recover from—it’s a natural and healthy part of life.
Quieting the Noise: Thanksgiving Beyond Diet Culture
There are so many narratives pushed around at this time of year about food, bodies, restriction, what it looks like to be “disciplined,” and how to “be good” in the face of all of the holiday “temptations.” It can be overwhelming for anyone to navigate the advice and comments that infiltrate conversations, social media, and product marketing at this time of year. If you have or are recovering from an eating disorder, or if you struggle with body image issues, it can be particularly challenging to confront all of these aggressively-promoted myths with truths. Think of these reminders when faced with the rules society tries to impose around food – whether they come up in conversations at Thanksgiving, in your feed as you’re scrolling, or in products that are marketed through the stores you’re walking through. And try to remember that this day can be about so much more than what’s on your plate. Food is just one piece of the puzzle—one that you deserve to enjoy as you engage with the other pieces that make up the full picture.
By: Erika Muller, Assistant for Wildflower Therapy LLC
All images via Unsplash
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