"Understanding and Addressing Mental Hunger: 8 Ways it Shows Up in Life With an Eating Disorder"
We can all identify the signs of physical hunger — growling stomach, a slight dip in energy, thoughts about what you plan to eat next; our bodies are good at letting us know when we need fuel. If you’ve struggled with an eating disorder, you may also be familiar with the signs of extreme physical hunger—the light-headedness, the fatigue, headaches, mood swings: unmistakable signs your body is in need of energy.
Not discussed as frequently as physical hunger, but often a powerful drive is those who are struggling with an eating disorder is the Mental hunger you experience. Mental hunger is a type of hunger that you may not realize has as much of an impact on your day-to-day interactions with food as physical hunger. It can have a profound impact on your life, especially in the context of eating disorder recovery.
Mental hunger is “thinking about and desiring food as a result of the rules, constraints, and restrictions that your brain perceives.” It’s a preoccupation with a certain food, or food in general, created by the act of restriction itself.
Mental Hunger and Restriction
For those who have experienced an eating disorder, mental hunger can be a direct consequence of prolonged restriction. When the body is deprived of sufficient nutrients, the brain becomes hyper-focused on food as a survival mechanism. This can continue even after physical hunger has been addressed, especially if your body has been in a state of malnourishment for a long time. Mental hunger is your brain's way of urging you to eat, to ensure that you have enough energy and nutrients.
When struggling with an eating disorder, this preoccupation with food is incredibly frustrating. It can be all-consuming, and I used to perceive it as a weakness. I remember thinking that what was wrong with me wasn’t that I wasn’t eating enough, but that I just couldn’t stop fixating on food. I’ve since learned that mental hunger is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that your body is trying to get its needs met.
What does mental hunger look like? 8 Ways it Shows Up In Life With an Eating Disorder
Dreading Outings
A day full of errands or a day at a friend’s house may be something you find yourself dreading. This is because you feel it limits your access to “acceptable” food, making it harder to plan what you will eat. The thought of an impromptu stop at a coffee shop or somewhere for lunch may fill you with fear since the food and drinks you have access to there may not be easy to track or ones that you are allowing yourself to consume. This uncertainty can lead to intense feelings of dread when thinking about the unpredictability of the day’s details.
2. Dreams about food
You may find that you experience more dreams about food than normal as a result of restriction.
3. Fixation on food-based social media accounts
At the pinnacle of my struggle with my eating disorder, I was spending much of my social media time watching people make food, talk about food, explain recipes. I was channeling my physical and mental hunger into this obsession with watching baking and cooking videos.
4. Fixation on baking and cooking for others
My fixation on finding recipes would result in me baking and cooking new foods all.the.time. Because I was always thinking about food, this felt like a “healthy,” yet “safe” way for me to deal with these thoughts. I remember days where I would bake three or four different cookies, pastries, and then I would not eat any of them. I would bake and then distribute what I made to other people.
5. Feeling anxious even after eating a full meal
I may feel physically full, but I was already mentally planning for when I would feel hungry again, what I would eat next, and how this would fit into my allotted calorie count for the day.
6. Going to bed early in order to “reset” and be able to eat the next day
Even if I wasn’t feeling physically hungry, I would go to bed early in order to maximize the amount of hours I wasn’t eating or actively thinking about food. I especially did this if I felt like I “overdid it” on a particular day, because it felt like an opportunity to expedite starting over.
7. Noticing a particular food “everywhere”
If you have restricted from a specific food or type of food, you may feel like you see and encounter it everywhere. This places you at odds with a food that is now on a pedestal because it’s forbidden.
8. Choosing to isolate over being in a “tempting” environment
Even when you are not feeling physically hungry, you may opt out of going to the movies with a friend, going out to brunch or dinner, or even having people over in anticipation that you will either be tempted to eat something that you are “not allowed to eat” or that you will not be able to track what you do eat.
Addressing Mental Hunger with Compassion
Mental hunger can make you feel confused, anxious, and full of shame. I would always hope I could will my way out of obsessing over food; I convinced myself that eventually, I would be disciplined enough to be content with the regimented schedule and rules I had for food and eating. I eventually learned that there was never a point at which I felt physically, mentally, or emotionally at peace while I was restricting.
You may feel like you’re alone, food-obsessed, and doomed to a life where you are in a constant battle against yourself when it comes to food and eating. While these feelings are real, I can assure you that you are not broken, food-obsessed, or lacking discipline. Your mind and body are simply working to meet your needs when you are hungry and undernourished. Throughout my healing journey, I had a lot of work to do to recognize and believe that my body and mind were working for me, not against me. Recognizing that you don’t have to remain in a power struggle with your mind and body is an important step toward freedom from your eating disorder. If mental hunger is a battle you are fighting right now, too, I encourage you to seek the support of a professional. By understanding your mental hunger and addressing it with compassion and professional care, you can start or continue on your path to recovery with a greater sense of self-awareness and, in time, peace.
By: Erika Muller, Assistant for Wildflower Therapy LLC
All images via Unsplash
How Can Wildflower Therapy in Philadelphia, PA Help You?
If you’re looking for someone to come alongside you to help you unpack and approach the the complex set of experiences and emotions that come with having and healing from an eating disorder , our therapists in Pennsylvania are honored to help! In fact, you can get to know a little bit more about them here and book a free consultation here.
Other Mental Health Services Provided by Wildflower Therapy, Philadelphia, PA
Life is a unique and sometimes messy journey for each of us; we all have our own individual battles to fight. Our therapists know there is no one-size-fits-all approach to any of life’s challenges and because of that, we offer many unique perspectives and approaches to help meet you where you are with our Philadelphia, PA Therapy services.
With this in mind, we offer services for eating disorder therapy, services for anxiety, and depression, and have practitioners who specialize in perinatal mental health , maternal mental health, therapy for college students and athletes. As well as LGBTQIA+ Affirming Therapy. Accordingly, we have something to offer just about anyone in our Philadelphia, PA office. Reaching out is often the most difficult step you can take to improve your mental health. We look forward to partnering with you on this journey!
