6 Tips for Helping Your Kids Build Body Confidence and a Positive Relationship with Food This Halloween
We’re closing in on Halloween, and for those of us with young kids, the holiday can be full of excitement, fun, and—for various reasons—a little bit of stress. From picking costumes and volunteering for school parties to trick-or-treating and all the candy, it’s a holiday that can be full of triggers for those of us who’ve spent years untangling our relationship with food and body image. As part of my own recovery, I try to be intentional about approaching and reframing the focus areas, comments, and conversations that come up during holidays in a way that fosters body neutrality, food freedom, and joyful celebration– for both me and my kids.
If you are a mom in recovery, or even just a mom looking to support your child’s relationship with food and their body, consider the following tips for making the holiday fun, healthy (in the holistic sense!), and body-neutral.
6 Ways to Support a Positive Body Image and Relationship with Food for Yourself and Your Kids this Halloween
1. Encourage Body Autonomy with Costumes
Allowing kids decision-making power when it comes to their Halloween costume (of course, parameters and guidance may be necessary and helpful depending on their age and safety needs) can help them feel good about themselves and their agency over their body. I’ve been intentional about not interfering in my daughter’s decision about what she wants to “be” for Halloween this year. I want her to feel empowered and excited about who she wants to be for the day, not pressured to wear something that fits into a societal idea of “cute” or “flattering.” For me, part of recovery has been about relinquishing control in areas where I was once overly controlling—including not steering my child toward my own ideas of what “looks good” or what others will think is “cute.” I want her to make choices that are free from concerns about others’ approval.
2. Skip Food-Related Halloween Jokes
Consciously avoiding any food-related jokes or language (like “I ate too much, I’m going to be sick” or “Watch out for a sugar crash!” or “These kids are going to be up all night with all of the sugar they’re eating!”) helps to set a neutral tone around food that can help you and your kids avoid internalizing diet culture messaging. This is something I have had to be particularly intentional about in my own recovery because these types of comments or “jokes” are so common that they almost feel like conversation starters, even when you don’t mean them. I realize, though, that these types of comments paint certain foods as “bad” or “forbidden,” which can complicate our and our kids’ relationship with them.
3. Buy the “Real” Candy (Instead of the “Healthy” Alternatives)
In past years, Halloween brought guilt and anxiety for me. Candy felt like a trigger—something to avoid or make “healthier.” But through recovery, I’ve learned that demonizing certain foods only fuels the cycle of restriction and binging. Now, it’s important to note that there are circumstances where alternatives to “normal candy”may be necessary and appreciated—such as for families with kids who have allergies, dietary restrictions, or different sensory needs. However, if you’re inclined to buy reduced-sugar, “thin,” or lower-calorie options to be “healthier,” I encourage you to rethink that. This year, I’m choosing “real” candy—think normal Reese’s instead of Reese’s Thins, or a regular caramel apple sucker instead of an all-natural, sugar-free alternative.
4. Avoid Commenting on the Sugar Content of Candy
Okay, so an expansion on the above point, but this one needs its own moment. It can be tempting to make remarks about how much sugar is in Halloween candy—whether joking about feeling bloated after eating too much or saying, “I can’t have that piece of candy because it’s full of sugar” or “Someone take this away or I’ll eat so much that I’ll literally turn into a nerd cluster.” These seemingly harmless comments carry weight. They send the message that sugar is something to fear or feel guilty about and that certain foods should be avoided. I want my daughter to experience holidays like Halloween without food anxiety, guilt, or the fear of indulgence. So, I’m making a conscious effort to avoid demonizing sugar. By doing this, I hope to create an environment where she can enjoy her Halloween candy without pressure to restrict, and with the understanding that food has no moral value.
5. Keep Costume Comments Positive and Body-Neutral
Dressing up is a focus for many on Halloween. And while it can be natural to comment on how cute a kid looks in a costume, I want to be sure that my daughter understands that her excitement and creativity are even more notable on Halloween. Complimenting things like how happy I am to see her excited about her costume or how much fun she’s having lets her know that her worth is about so much more than how she looks (on Halloween and on any day!). This also sets the precedent for our kids to understand that other peoples’ bodies and appearances are not up for discussion.
6. Consider Highlighting Non-Candy Halloween Fun
If you want to ensure that the focus of Halloween is on more than just candy, consider planning non-food activities like pumpkin carving, decorating, or Halloween-themed games that emphasize the fun of the holiday without centering it around candy or food can help to take candy off of a pedestal. These don’t have to replace trick-or-treating, but could be another way to celebrate that helps kids see that part of the joy of any holiday is in shared experiences and that we do not have to focus on, demonize, or idolize the “food part” of it.
Fostering Healing Through Candy and Costumes
My own recovery isn’t just about or for me; I remind myself often that I continue to recover, reflect, and grow for my kids, too. The way we handle holidays, celebrations, and everyday moments can shape how our kids see themselves and relate to food and their bodies. Being intentional about reframing some of the triggers and diet culture-driven norms this Halloween can help protect your own recovery while also nurturing your little ones’ joy, autonomy, body image, and enjoyment of holiday traditions. We can show our kids—through these small reframes—that their worth has nothing to do with how they look, what they eat, or how much they eat. And maybe we can use these moments as reminders that growth and healing can happen even in some of life’s smaller moments, like a piece of Halloween candy or the twinkle of a kid’s smile when they see themselves in the mirror in their Halloween costume.
By: Erika Muller, Assistant for Wildflower Therapy LLC
All images via Unsplash
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